Poetry - Mime

Mime

The door just slammed
on that white-and-black wordless man.
His hands are pressed flat
on an invisible fortress surrounding him—

severing his links to the world.

He plays his death a thousand times,
holding his noose with gloved fingers.

Naps, trash and brain pictures in court

Naps make you smarter: A midday nap markedly boosts the brain's learning capacity
I knew it! As an avid napper, I'm feeling the win here. Also, the ergonimc mouspad at my office is a very comfy pillow.

Garbage = fuel: Orange Peels, Newspapers May Lead to Cheaper, Cleaner Ethanol Fue
It only makes sense. We've been burning and burying shit for ages, and only now coming up with a good use for garbage? Apparently orange peels are where this business is at. Because this new technology was developed in Florida, oh ye land of citrus.

The CSI effect, as per usual: How Far Should Neuroscience Evidence Go in Court Trials?
Neuroscience is really too young to be used as conclusive proof of anything. This lawyer is trying to prove that his client is insane by using a brain picture. It's not like paint-by-numbers, you doofus. Also, correlation does not imply causation. And, eat your vegetables.

Olympics Visitor Warning and the Canadian Ninja

Woman punches off coyote attack
Mother fought off cougar to save toddler from attack


It is widely believed that Canadians are ninjas. This myth is obviously false, since we have an obesity rate rivalling that of the USA (okay, not really), but when it comes to fighting off large animals, the inner ninja prevails.

Linked above, an article about a woman who saves her dog from a coyote. I have a little dog, and she is always trying to run off to play with the coyotes. She hears them howling from our backyard, and since it would be very not-pretty to fence in our yard, she generally makes a break for it. Luckily, we always catch her before she reaches the forest. Those damned coy-otes are always hungry.

In order to protect from coyotes, make sure to have a guard animal, such as a llama, or a donkey (seriously.). Coyotes aren't that large and generally live off rodents. If you have a dog that looks like a rodent, like I do, then maybe you should invest in a loyal llama to protect your rat-dog.

Cougars, on the other hand, are massive. My parents always told me that if I wasn't careful, a cougar would eat my face. Apparently, they are quite well known for face-eating, though Wikipedia stubbornly claims that they are more likely to jump you from behind (which is also scary). This website insists that only 5 people in the last 100 years have been killed by cougars, and that three Canadians a year die from bee stings.

This is because ninja powers are useless against bees. Unless you can do that trick from Wanted where the nerdy dude suddenly had the ability to shoot the wings off a fly. Except we're not allowed guns in Canada.

This is why ninja powers are important. If your three-year-old got attacked by a cougar, what would you do?

Obviously, you would activate ninja powers and fight back. In fact, the Canadian Ministry of Environment even suggests that you do exactly that (FIIGHT). There were 29 non-fatal cougar attacks in the last 100 years - but remember, the Canadian ninja has a much higher chance of surviving due to extreme ninja skills. In case you are among the lucky who are going to be visiting Vancouver for the Olympics, you may want to take note of these suggestions.

a) Take martial arts lessons before arriving so you will be prepared to fight off attacks by coyotes, cougars and bears.
b) Always carry a large stick with you.
c) Because coyotes attack the head (from behind according to Wikipedia, or perhaps the face) it is best to wear a helmet when you're outside. Preferably one with a mask, like a motorcycle helmet or a hockey helmet.

It also must be mentioned that our dogs are also ninja trained. Sometimes they are too small to fight the animals off themselves, as seen above where the owner was forced to intervene. But they also do pretty well, and are suuper loyal: Retriever saves 11-year-old boy from cougar attack in Boston Bar

“Take All of Murphy”, Cryptic Symbolism Included

Many students studying anatomy and human biology have to wait years before they are given the privilege of dissecting a full, human body. Until then, substitutes are provided – everything from a frog to a bull – and mostly, students are only given little bits to analyze at a time. The opportunity to learn anatomy first-hand truly is, as Dr. Harrison says in “Taking All of Murphy”, a gift (34). In this short story, which is anthologized in Vincent Lam’s Bloodletting & Miraculous Cures, a group of three medical students are followed as they complete their first human dissection. Ming, Chen and Sri represent different ways in which people react to the task of cutting open a human body by showing how different levels of empathy with their cadaver manifests. Lam creates a maze of imagery and symbolism that doesn’t allow the reader to draw any easy conclusions about the meaning of his work.

The students signify three different markers on a scale of compassion towards the cadavers. Ming sees the cadaver as a simple object, saying, “‘Hello? Dead? Remember? I don’t have dreams, because I don’t have hang-ups about the stupid corpse,” (40). Sri, on the other hand, cannot help but humanize their dissection subject, including taking the teacher’s suggestion of giving the cadaver a name Sri proposed that they name their cadaver Murphy” (40), and while Ming did not want to assign a name, Chen, the compromiser, “took neither side, suggested that each do as they please,” (40).

Sri represents the idea that there should be an atmosphere of ceremony surrounding the dissection of a human. He sees Ming’s eagerness as somehow impure, and decides to start the dissection himself, because he “felt only fear, which he believed was a better way to begin this undertaking...” (32). Furthermore, after each day’s session in the dissection lab, Sri would completely change all of his clothes, including socks and underwear (39) and he is shown as being someone who might have knowledge on ceremonial burial rights (38). When Chen brings up cultural burial practices, Ming presents the opposing viewpoint when she says, “‘You’re thinking of concrete boots. Gangsters did that,’” (38). The idea that the way in which a person or group of people deal with deadness and death can be placed along a ceremony to criminality spectrum is one that is shown through the attitudes and actions of the three students highlighted in this story.

As disagreements between the group escalate, they become more deeply meaningful to the reader. Ming wants to cut through a tattoo on the cadaver’s arm, following what the manual says, but Sri is put off by the idea of desecrating the man’s tattoo. “‘You should respect a man’s symbols,’” he explains to the group (43). Lam shows the students musing over the meaning of the tattoo, but only Sri really cares about the significance of it, and about preserving it. Ming, focused on memorizing without interpretation, follows the manual without regard to this man’s “symbols”. Later, Ming misplaces the right side of the cadaver’s head, and Sri is outraged at the disrespect that Ming shows to Murphy (45).

A critical reader, one who is actively looking for symbolism, may see the loss of the right side of the head as representative of an absence of right brain activity in the medical students’ learning process. The right hemisphere of the brain is popularly portrayed as being home to creativity and interpretation processes. However, lateralization of brain function is not nearly as simple as it is often assumed to be – a fact that medically trained Vincent Lam would be aware of. Lam does a great job of exploring a tendency which many writers and critical readers exhibit: the over simplification of symbolism.

In the same way, there are hints throughout the text that the story Lam is telling may have biblical resonance. The Dean speaks of expulsion, as from the Garden, as a punishment for distasteful behaviour (33); the bar the students spend time at is named “The Paradise”, but is filled with fire (49); and Sri and Chen analyze the bible verse Mark 16 (51). Lam makes these references problematic by leaving them unconnected, and by tinting them with irony. The students who are portrayed as being respectful of the dissection subjects pour beer into Murphy (52), and yet are not expelled. The students fail to note the disconnect between the name of their bar and the atmosphere it presents (49). The bible verse marked on Murphy’s arm is analyzed, but by appropriating their own meanings to the man’s tattoo, the students effectively negate the true meaning that the man, now dead and unable to correct them, really had for the tattoo (53). The only simple relationships shown in this story are between the three characters; Ming, Chen and Sri have their roles, their opinions, and they remain in their proper places until the end.

Lam presents the reader with a plethora or symbols that only underscore the impossibility of knowing the true intent an author may have had for his symbols. In the same way that the students can never know Murphy’s original intentions for each of his tattoos, Lam has created an environment in which the reader can only speculate how he meant for the dots of metaphor and symbolism to connect. Despite the subject matter being scientific in nature, this story may aim to illustrate to a critical reader how there is no correct answer in analyzing a piece of literature, but only that it is important to always “respect a man’s symbols,” (43).

Works Cited

Lam, Vincent. "Take All of Murphy." Bloodletting and Miraculous Cures Stories. New York: Anchor Canada, 2006. Print.

Drunk people make me laugh

Wyoming shoplifting suspect mistakenly flees into police station
And drunken shoplifters even more so...

Man arrested after stripping, causing brief disturbance inside Phoenix airport terminal
And people off their meds...

Actor Rip Torn headed for rehab after drunk bank arrest
Actor Rip Torn charged with breaking into Conn. bank while drunk and carrying a loaded gun
And drunken actors contemplating a bank robbery...


But drunk drivers not so much.
No brakes in sight for a serial drunk driver
Maine State trooper suspended after chasing driver into Canada
No jail time for Manitoba driver who killed boy

Canadian Med-Schools and their shaky understanding of "informed consent"

Gloomy story, gloomy picture

As a long-time patriotic Canadian (that’s Niagara there, folks. I didn’t have any Toronto pictures on hand) I was shocked to see Canada tied up in a pretty nasty headline over at Feministing.

"Apparently in Canada, medical students practice pelvic exams on women who are in surgery without their consent."(Link)

At first I was confused, and simply dismissed it as a headline blown out of proportion. I thought it must be a one-time occurrence, an ongoing lawsuit wherein one drunken medical student made it past security (the intense security that must surround every unconscious patient) and slipped his (or her) hand under some poor woman’s dressing gown.

According to the informal survey presented by the article, 72% of medical students have done an unauthorized pelvic exam on an unconscious surgical patient (Link). A pelvic examination can be either external or internal; it was not specified which act was performed. An internal pelvic exam without consent is called, “penetration of an unconscious person with a foreign object”, more broadly known as rape.
California courts recently found a man on two felony counts, including “rape of an unconscious person” (Link). This sexual assault will result in a man facing “a long prison sentence”; hopefully a very long one.

The woman quoted with regards to the unauthorized pelvic exams admitted that she had performed these exams several times during her time as a student. A repeat offender, so to speak. Maybe some people will see her as misguided, or only as someone who was afraid to speak up. After all, medical school is not a particularly easy or simple place to be, and after four years of undergrad, functioning on an average of three hours of sleep a night – no one wants to risk their chance to finally become a doctor.

She quickly puts this opinion out of my mind, however, but saying, “…it had never occurred to me that it might be unethical.”(Link)

In quintessential Grey’s Anatomy fashion, I ask you—

Seriously? Seriously?

Unethical seems like a gross understatement. If someone sticks something phallic, be it a penis or that little ducky thing that they use for pelvic exams, without consent, they slip off one side of “unethical” and fall deeply into "criminal”.

I may be taking this too seriously, or reacting too strongly. This could be because I’m frankly ashamed to have such a headline tied to the Canadian medical school system, or it might have something to do with all the surgeries I’ve recently been knocked-out for. The idea of some teacher making rounds to my vagina with a bunch of sleep-deprived students watching makes me feel sick to my stomach. If I had been conscious and in a teaching hospital and slated to have a PAP anyway, I might actually said yes. But when someone is chemically unconscious and strapped to an operating table is not an appropriate time to stick a head (and the above noted ducky tool) between their knees.

The only comfort I can take from this is that the last two times I had surgery, I was on my period. I bet that was a gross surprise for those nosy insomniac med-school fuckers.

Smallville and the battle of Clark and the fog

I know I may be getting to the game a little late on this one, but forgive me -- I don't have a TV!

The episode of Smallville that aired last week was all sorts of epic. I can't even describe to you the feeling that shot through me when Clark's voice scrambler stopped working -- oh shit! Is this it? -- and then Lois's reaction, and of course her shrink visits and I'm in love. Sorry. The rambling. It's unattractive. But Lois and Clark? What's more legendary than that?

The big issue with the episode is the confusion that stemmed from Lois's fall from the Daily Planet roof. I must admit, embarrassing though this may be, I was on team fog at first. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll elaborate.

The Wonder Twins were featured (albeit with a little over 5 minutes screentime) in last week's episode. Wikipedia tells me that Zan and Jayna are from another planet, and that they can transform. Zan can become water at any state (sidebar: is this dumb?) and Jayna any animal. When Lois is thrown off the roof of the Daily Planet in typical Lois fashion, Clark decides to try to save her as Clark instead of whirling into Blur attire and zooming to her rescue.


This creates an issue for poor Clark, because by now the vultures have gathered and there are roughly the same amount of journalists below as there are people in Smallville. Clark is forced to make the decision -- do I save her? Or should I protect my identity and let her fall to her painful death?

I fully believe that if she had dropped, then the decision would have been made for him, and he would have ousted himself without a second thought. But now, she's hanging, and he's reaching futively for her, and she's getting all dramatic and offering to die to protect his secret.

Then the fog comes (it's Zan, p.s.) and Clark smiles. He reassures her that everything's going to be alright and she falls, falls, falls.

The next scene shows her landing softly on the ground amidst thick and luscious fog. The fog obviously caught her. Right?

I figured it was a stupid Smallville thing. After all, fog can't catch you, it's clouds for godssake. But maybe Zan could, I dunno, I don't know anything about this dude. But on Kryptonsite, my favourite Smallville forum, a metaphorical storm was brewing over the identity of Lois's saviour. People started to question...

Would Clark really leave Lois's life in the hands of some guy he'd just met? Why would Clark assume that the fog was going to catch Lois? How much did he even know about Zan and his powers at this point?

But also, why didn't the directors show Clark catching her? How was the lowered so slowly to the ground -- wouldn't Clark catching her have been a jolty motion and then a crash, like when he caught Lana that one time? Physics makes it obvious, because at the speed she was moving, there was no way that a typical catch-and-land would have left her alive, in one piece, and still peacefully sleeping.

The argument continued. 432 posts worth of arguing. The director of the episode showed up, Glen Winter himself, to settle the argument. Clark saved her, or so he says. But the argument continues! Ten forum pages of continues! Will this argument never end?

I'm now firmly on the Clark team. Team fog doesn't stand a chance, not when you look at Clark's smile before Lois dropped, and the phone call from Chloe-the-Blur after the fact ("I guess this makes up for not calling.). Plus, well, Glen Winter.

In other news, I don't know quite how to express how excited I am for Friday's episode. I've been thinking about it, and let's just say that I spent my shift at work daydreaming about it instead of working. Eight wasted hours, so it better be good!