Naps, trash and brain pictures in court

Naps make you smarter: A midday nap markedly boosts the brain's learning capacity
I knew it! As an avid napper, I'm feeling the win here. Also, the ergonimc mouspad at my office is a very comfy pillow.

Garbage = fuel: Orange Peels, Newspapers May Lead to Cheaper, Cleaner Ethanol Fue
It only makes sense. We've been burning and burying shit for ages, and only now coming up with a good use for garbage? Apparently orange peels are where this business is at. Because this new technology was developed in Florida, oh ye land of citrus.

The CSI effect, as per usual: How Far Should Neuroscience Evidence Go in Court Trials?
Neuroscience is really too young to be used as conclusive proof of anything. This lawyer is trying to prove that his client is insane by using a brain picture. It's not like paint-by-numbers, you doofus. Also, correlation does not imply causation. And, eat your vegetables.

Olympics Visitor Warning and the Canadian Ninja

Woman punches off coyote attack
Mother fought off cougar to save toddler from attack


It is widely believed that Canadians are ninjas. This myth is obviously false, since we have an obesity rate rivalling that of the USA (okay, not really), but when it comes to fighting off large animals, the inner ninja prevails.

Linked above, an article about a woman who saves her dog from a coyote. I have a little dog, and she is always trying to run off to play with the coyotes. She hears them howling from our backyard, and since it would be very not-pretty to fence in our yard, she generally makes a break for it. Luckily, we always catch her before she reaches the forest. Those damned coy-otes are always hungry.

In order to protect from coyotes, make sure to have a guard animal, such as a llama, or a donkey (seriously.). Coyotes aren't that large and generally live off rodents. If you have a dog that looks like a rodent, like I do, then maybe you should invest in a loyal llama to protect your rat-dog.

Cougars, on the other hand, are massive. My parents always told me that if I wasn't careful, a cougar would eat my face. Apparently, they are quite well known for face-eating, though Wikipedia stubbornly claims that they are more likely to jump you from behind (which is also scary). This website insists that only 5 people in the last 100 years have been killed by cougars, and that three Canadians a year die from bee stings.

This is because ninja powers are useless against bees. Unless you can do that trick from Wanted where the nerdy dude suddenly had the ability to shoot the wings off a fly. Except we're not allowed guns in Canada.

This is why ninja powers are important. If your three-year-old got attacked by a cougar, what would you do?

Obviously, you would activate ninja powers and fight back. In fact, the Canadian Ministry of Environment even suggests that you do exactly that (FIIGHT). There were 29 non-fatal cougar attacks in the last 100 years - but remember, the Canadian ninja has a much higher chance of surviving due to extreme ninja skills. In case you are among the lucky who are going to be visiting Vancouver for the Olympics, you may want to take note of these suggestions.

a) Take martial arts lessons before arriving so you will be prepared to fight off attacks by coyotes, cougars and bears.
b) Always carry a large stick with you.
c) Because coyotes attack the head (from behind according to Wikipedia, or perhaps the face) it is best to wear a helmet when you're outside. Preferably one with a mask, like a motorcycle helmet or a hockey helmet.

It also must be mentioned that our dogs are also ninja trained. Sometimes they are too small to fight the animals off themselves, as seen above where the owner was forced to intervene. But they also do pretty well, and are suuper loyal: Retriever saves 11-year-old boy from cougar attack in Boston Bar

“Take All of Murphy”, Cryptic Symbolism Included

Many students studying anatomy and human biology have to wait years before they are given the privilege of dissecting a full, human body. Until then, substitutes are provided – everything from a frog to a bull – and mostly, students are only given little bits to analyze at a time. The opportunity to learn anatomy first-hand truly is, as Dr. Harrison says in “Taking All of Murphy”, a gift (34). In this short story, which is anthologized in Vincent Lam’s Bloodletting & Miraculous Cures, a group of three medical students are followed as they complete their first human dissection. Ming, Chen and Sri represent different ways in which people react to the task of cutting open a human body by showing how different levels of empathy with their cadaver manifests. Lam creates a maze of imagery and symbolism that doesn’t allow the reader to draw any easy conclusions about the meaning of his work.

The students signify three different markers on a scale of compassion towards the cadavers. Ming sees the cadaver as a simple object, saying, “‘Hello? Dead? Remember? I don’t have dreams, because I don’t have hang-ups about the stupid corpse,” (40). Sri, on the other hand, cannot help but humanize their dissection subject, including taking the teacher’s suggestion of giving the cadaver a name Sri proposed that they name their cadaver Murphy” (40), and while Ming did not want to assign a name, Chen, the compromiser, “took neither side, suggested that each do as they please,” (40).

Sri represents the idea that there should be an atmosphere of ceremony surrounding the dissection of a human. He sees Ming’s eagerness as somehow impure, and decides to start the dissection himself, because he “felt only fear, which he believed was a better way to begin this undertaking...” (32). Furthermore, after each day’s session in the dissection lab, Sri would completely change all of his clothes, including socks and underwear (39) and he is shown as being someone who might have knowledge on ceremonial burial rights (38). When Chen brings up cultural burial practices, Ming presents the opposing viewpoint when she says, “‘You’re thinking of concrete boots. Gangsters did that,’” (38). The idea that the way in which a person or group of people deal with deadness and death can be placed along a ceremony to criminality spectrum is one that is shown through the attitudes and actions of the three students highlighted in this story.

As disagreements between the group escalate, they become more deeply meaningful to the reader. Ming wants to cut through a tattoo on the cadaver’s arm, following what the manual says, but Sri is put off by the idea of desecrating the man’s tattoo. “‘You should respect a man’s symbols,’” he explains to the group (43). Lam shows the students musing over the meaning of the tattoo, but only Sri really cares about the significance of it, and about preserving it. Ming, focused on memorizing without interpretation, follows the manual without regard to this man’s “symbols”. Later, Ming misplaces the right side of the cadaver’s head, and Sri is outraged at the disrespect that Ming shows to Murphy (45).

A critical reader, one who is actively looking for symbolism, may see the loss of the right side of the head as representative of an absence of right brain activity in the medical students’ learning process. The right hemisphere of the brain is popularly portrayed as being home to creativity and interpretation processes. However, lateralization of brain function is not nearly as simple as it is often assumed to be – a fact that medically trained Vincent Lam would be aware of. Lam does a great job of exploring a tendency which many writers and critical readers exhibit: the over simplification of symbolism.

In the same way, there are hints throughout the text that the story Lam is telling may have biblical resonance. The Dean speaks of expulsion, as from the Garden, as a punishment for distasteful behaviour (33); the bar the students spend time at is named “The Paradise”, but is filled with fire (49); and Sri and Chen analyze the bible verse Mark 16 (51). Lam makes these references problematic by leaving them unconnected, and by tinting them with irony. The students who are portrayed as being respectful of the dissection subjects pour beer into Murphy (52), and yet are not expelled. The students fail to note the disconnect between the name of their bar and the atmosphere it presents (49). The bible verse marked on Murphy’s arm is analyzed, but by appropriating their own meanings to the man’s tattoo, the students effectively negate the true meaning that the man, now dead and unable to correct them, really had for the tattoo (53). The only simple relationships shown in this story are between the three characters; Ming, Chen and Sri have their roles, their opinions, and they remain in their proper places until the end.

Lam presents the reader with a plethora or symbols that only underscore the impossibility of knowing the true intent an author may have had for his symbols. In the same way that the students can never know Murphy’s original intentions for each of his tattoos, Lam has created an environment in which the reader can only speculate how he meant for the dots of metaphor and symbolism to connect. Despite the subject matter being scientific in nature, this story may aim to illustrate to a critical reader how there is no correct answer in analyzing a piece of literature, but only that it is important to always “respect a man’s symbols,” (43).

Works Cited

Lam, Vincent. "Take All of Murphy." Bloodletting and Miraculous Cures Stories. New York: Anchor Canada, 2006. Print.

Canadian Med-Schools and their shaky understanding of "informed consent"

Gloomy story, gloomy picture

As a long-time patriotic Canadian (that’s Niagara there, folks. I didn’t have any Toronto pictures on hand) I was shocked to see Canada tied up in a pretty nasty headline over at Feministing.

"Apparently in Canada, medical students practice pelvic exams on women who are in surgery without their consent."(Link)

At first I was confused, and simply dismissed it as a headline blown out of proportion. I thought it must be a one-time occurrence, an ongoing lawsuit wherein one drunken medical student made it past security (the intense security that must surround every unconscious patient) and slipped his (or her) hand under some poor woman’s dressing gown.

According to the informal survey presented by the article, 72% of medical students have done an unauthorized pelvic exam on an unconscious surgical patient (Link). A pelvic examination can be either external or internal; it was not specified which act was performed. An internal pelvic exam without consent is called, “penetration of an unconscious person with a foreign object”, more broadly known as rape.
California courts recently found a man on two felony counts, including “rape of an unconscious person” (Link). This sexual assault will result in a man facing “a long prison sentence”; hopefully a very long one.

The woman quoted with regards to the unauthorized pelvic exams admitted that she had performed these exams several times during her time as a student. A repeat offender, so to speak. Maybe some people will see her as misguided, or only as someone who was afraid to speak up. After all, medical school is not a particularly easy or simple place to be, and after four years of undergrad, functioning on an average of three hours of sleep a night – no one wants to risk their chance to finally become a doctor.

She quickly puts this opinion out of my mind, however, but saying, “…it had never occurred to me that it might be unethical.”(Link)

In quintessential Grey’s Anatomy fashion, I ask you—

Seriously? Seriously?

Unethical seems like a gross understatement. If someone sticks something phallic, be it a penis or that little ducky thing that they use for pelvic exams, without consent, they slip off one side of “unethical” and fall deeply into "criminal”.

I may be taking this too seriously, or reacting too strongly. This could be because I’m frankly ashamed to have such a headline tied to the Canadian medical school system, or it might have something to do with all the surgeries I’ve recently been knocked-out for. The idea of some teacher making rounds to my vagina with a bunch of sleep-deprived students watching makes me feel sick to my stomach. If I had been conscious and in a teaching hospital and slated to have a PAP anyway, I might actually said yes. But when someone is chemically unconscious and strapped to an operating table is not an appropriate time to stick a head (and the above noted ducky tool) between their knees.

The only comfort I can take from this is that the last two times I had surgery, I was on my period. I bet that was a gross surprise for those nosy insomniac med-school fuckers.

Push and the Relate-ability of Precious

Recently, there has been a lot of noise about a movie called "Precious", featuring Gabby Sidibe. As a general rule, I try to read the book before I see the movie (one of the many reasons why I refuse to see the apparent beauty of Robert Pattinson on the big screen) and so I rushed to my nearest book store to buy Push, by Sapphire.

As an English major with a general background in British Literature, I'm usually quite put off by any writing that is less than grammatical. I knew, coming into it, that Push was likely to be upsetting, and not only because of its content. I was actually more worried about if I would be able to force myself through a book where "maff" is the interpretation of the word "math" by a nearly illiterate girl.

I know, I know, I'm awful. Many amazing books have had to be put down because of this very issue. But after a term of Caribbean literature, I've been learning how to read books in Creole, or in a mix of English and Creole, and this addresses my issue nicely. The problem is that I don't hear words in my head as I read, so I get easily confused by forms of phonemic orthography. With some practice I've been improving at hearing a voice in my head, and it was because of this that I found myself very able to enjoy Push.

The story starts out when Precious gets kicked out of school for being pregnant. She seems to embody all sorts of contradiction -- she yells at the teacher, she won't open her textbook (she can't read the numbers). In that same class, she becomes known as the peace keeper, and the teacher appreciates her ability to control the unruly math-student masses.

Without school to turn to, Precious returns home to her abusive mother. Reading about all the hardships that Precious has been through, the inappropriate sexuality, the beatings, the malnutrition, I fully expected the book to come off like a twisted game -- where the author tries to horrify, and in case that isn't enough, here's something worse!! Surprisingly, I was very touched by her stories of abuse. Though the scale was different, every moment was relatable to me, not least the moment when she learns the word for what her father did to her and was able to vocalise it, screaming "rape" over and over.

The social issues laced throughout the book also affect readers in their everyday lives; Saphire takes each situation and makes it into hyperbole. The saddest part is that, for some people, it isn't. As a reader, though, these pictures of racism, homophobia, low-self esteem, poverty and abuse are echoed small-scale through most people's lives. Some particulars may resonate more than others.

I know that some reviewers found the character of Precious to be transgressive and carnivalesque (in a bad way), but I can only speak for the novel. I found the character to be likable and it was her ability to learn and to reason that got to me. She gives me hope that even people who are raised with intolerant beliefs, such as Precious's homophobia, can see the error in such thinking and love people, particularly Ms. Rain and some of her classmates, despite her initial prejudices regarding their sexuality and gender expression.

Great book, and will definitely see the movie. As soon as it starts playing in Toronto... or ANYWHERE remotely near me.

(Update: It seems to be opening at Scotiabank Theatre on Friday. Score!)

Racism and the Impact on the Person

[OMITTED]
Unfortunately, there is a pervasive attitude and belief that white people cannot experience racism and that it is in fact socially acceptable to make racist comments to a white person. In a tribute to my fellow writer, I will draw on an example an episode of Glee. In episode 107, an African American Glee member turns to the white captain-of-the-football-team jock and calls him “White Boy”.

In real life terms, Barak Obama’s minister Reverend Jackson White preached that Hillary Clinton didn’t understand what it was like to be oppressed and to have descendents that were oppressed. Reverend Jackson clearly needs a history lesson. Women faced oppression also and were repressed by a patriarchal society. In Canada women were not considered persons under the law until 1929 in the landmark Persons Case. Today girls are still encouraged to play a subservient role to men through sex role stereotyping. Women still struggle to show definitions of themselves outside of those traditional female roles.

However, the point of this exposé is not to try and argue which groups of individuals have been discriminated against to a greater extent, but simply to say that because a group has been discriminated against based on race or gender doesn’t give them the allowance to make racist comments themselves towards other groups of people. If we want a society based on greater equality then society as a whole cannot be accepting of any hate language regardless of the race that it is targeted towards or the vehicle with which it is delivered.

Shakespeare understood this 400 years ago when he wrote the Merchant of Venice in which his main character delivers this monologue:

“I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?”

All he was trying to point out was that hate is felt universally and emotions transcend all external factors therefore, respect should be afforded to all people simply for being a person. This harkens back to my original anecdote. The reason I felt hurt by the situation was because I would never have treated someone the way I was. What added insult to injury was the fact that I felt I couldn’t stand up for myself. If I had said that to him I would have been labelled a racist however, because I don’t fit in that racialized category there is no societal repercussions and thus, I don’t have society backing me as a platform that would justify me in feeling disrespected.

In closing, Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “men are respectable only as they respect” so think before you speak and treat others based on how they act not how they look.

**********************************************************************************
I have chosen to omit and change original parts of this essay. The omitted sections include a conversation with an individual in which a remark was made to me, which I found offensive on a racial level at the time. Recently, I confronted this individual. The comment made was an off-handed comment not meant as a racial remark. Absent-minded comments happen. Although I still feel the point of this informal essay is valid, I feel that the anecdote used is now no longer valid to this piece and thus I have removed it.

Although my article preaches about making judgements made about people on a racial level and the evils of such judgements, I now realize that unfair judgements can be made about people on more levels than just racial. In this particular case I prejudged the individual referred to in my anecdote and thus was guilty of the very unjust judgement I preached about in my writing.
Had I spoken up earlier and approached this individual in a respectful manner, my approach to writing this article would have been different. This is the second reason why I have omitted/retracted sections.

Lastly, I have retracted the sections because having the respect of this individual and the respective I have for this individual is more important to me than the flow and elegance of the my essay. Although some may feel this makes me less of a writer, I say to you – I am a person first and a writer second.

Health Care and my Fondness for Fingers and Toes

As a Canadian who has been spoiled with free health care my entire life, I have often been given to wonder whether the constant availability of doctors has made us into a nation of hypochondriacs. But when I compare my predilection to err on the side of caution with a system that allows a 12-year-old boy to die of a toothache (Washington Post Article) I start to think that we’re doing okay.

There have definitely been times when I’ve wasted the government’s money. For example, I probably could have stayed home that time when I *ahem* lost my tampon. Also, I’ve had more than a few panic induced calls to 9-1-1 when I was sure I was dying of nut allergy. There are other times, though, now that I think about it, that me dragging myself out to emerg was the right choice, even when I wasn’t even sure of it at the time.

I worked in a kitchen for two summers, and since I’m a perpetual klutz, I ended up slicing my hands up on more than one occasion. One time in particular sticks out in my mind – I had been using a paring knife in an entirely inappropriate way and ended up cutting a line between the second and third joints of my ring finger. It didn’t look so bad, just like a surface wound running diagonally along the top of my finger. It wouldn’t stop bleeding though, and soaked through bandage after bandage to the point that my Chef asked me to go home.
Heading home, I kept my finger elevated and by the time I drove past my house there was blood down my arm. I slowed down at my side street, but decided I may as well get it looked at. I had some medical tape at home, so I seriously contemplated just driving home and taping it up.

The wait at the clinic was joyfully short, but the receptionist was a little skeptical that I needed to see the doc for a cut finger. She was finally convinced by the amount of blood and a nurse put me into a room pretty quickly. When the doctor came in, he took one look and told me that I was going to need lots of stitches. I actually still disagreed that my finger even needed the work, after all, it didn’t hurt all that much and even though it was bleeding a lot, it just looked like a cut on the top of my finger.

It only took him about ten minutes to sew me up, and I didn’t bother going back to get the stitches out (tweezers and some scissors worked fine), when I saw the scar I realised what a good call it had been for me to go to the clinic – the scar actually started underneath my finger, and the slice had gone right through my finger, nicking the bone.

If I had lived in the States, it’s entirely likely that this would have been covered by some sort of worker’s insurance. My sister lives in the US though, and not getting going to the doctor’s office is more a state of mind. She doesn’t have insurance and even when she’s in Canada and fully covered, we can’t get her to go to the doctor’s for anything.

In a similarly digit-related incident, I had an interesting experience with faulty bandaging and a hematoma after some surgery on my leg went wrong. My toes started to go numb, and since they’d wrapped my leg so thoroughly and so tightly, there was no way I was going to be able to get through the bandages and plaster to check on my foot. By the next night I had lost all the feeling in my toes. It didn’t hurt or anything, just numb.

My mom took me to the emergency room at the nearby hospital, and though it was the grubbiest hospital I’d been at since I nearly died in British Columbia, the doctor was really nice, and he told me about his time working as a doctor in rural China while he cut the wrap off my leg. He ended up having to pry the hardened gauze off of my foot – my surgical incision had bled so much that the blood had fully saturated the gauze and it had gotten steadily stiffer to the point that it had cut off all the blood to my toes.

After all the great adventures-in-China stories, during which he cleaned the area and redressed my leg using a less-likely-to-harden gauze and some plaster to protect the damaged bone, he let me know that if I hadn’t dropped by, even if I’d waited until morning, I probably would have lost my toes. Scary thought. I like my toes.

Nothing life threatening, but I do think I would have been less than pleased to be living my life with nine fingers and five toes. My skiing would have suffered. Also, getting married without a ring finger may have been awkward. There are lots of times when people don’t realise the full extent of their injuries, or don’t know enough to guess the implications of their symptoms. Especially with the swine flu going around, when a fever and diarrhea could spell death, I’m much more comfortable living in a country where I don’t have to worry about draining my bank account for a false alarm. Instead, Canadians can go to the hospital, don a free hospital mask and have their health verified on the government’s tab.

I mean, taxes suck, but I think it's probably worth it.